The first trimester is kicking my ass. It was all excitement and aww, I’m queasy, that’s so cute until 6 weeks came along.
It came along, shaking me awake in the middle of the night. “What are you doing? Sleeping? Sleeping is for pussies! Let’s get up and puke!”
Since then, every single day has been like that. I wake up at 2 or 3 am and I’m up for the day. Usually I get a nap sometime in the afternoon, but I basically feel like a zombie. I’m hardly online at all, because that requires sitting upright, reading things, and having coherent thoughts. I’m not good at any of those things lately.
I throw up at least twice a day, usually more. I keep about half the food I eat down, which is better than some are able to do, so I’m grateful for that. I’m not taking any drugs for nausea or vomiting (yet), and I’m really going to try to avoid it (if I can). There just doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. There is no food I can consistently keep down, and none of the tricks I’ve tried have prevented the throwing up.
I was going to do a picture of my belly, but I decided to wait until next week. The first ultrasound is at 8 weeks, and is scheduled for this coming Tuesday. I’m going to be a little anxious until it gets here and we hear the heartbeat. There are just so many things that can go wrong, and because I keep looking around on the babycenter forums like a dumbass, I’m hearing about all of them.
Even though there’s that worry in the back of my mind, I still feel like everything is OK. I feel connected to the baby. In fact, I’m pretty convinced it’s a boy. And maybe twins. It’s just one of those things that popped into my head, but it won’t leave, either. There are twins on my mom’s side of the family, plus old ladies like me tend to release more than one egg when we ovulate…
I know it seems ridiculous, but it does look like I have a little bump already. At first I was sure it was just umm, constipation, another lovely pregnancy symptom, or bloat, on account of the fact that I’m consuming 80% of my calories from liquids. I’ve also considered that it’s just, you know, fat, since the food that seems the most likely to stay down is the least healthy – McDonald’s, Taco Bell.
Anyway, I know I should be happy, because lots of symptoms usually mean the baby is healthy, which I am happy about. It’s just draining to feel on the edge of vomiting all the time. Plus my appetite is out of control, so I’m really hungry, but most things don’t sound very appealing.
I’m trying not to be cranky, but I’m not sure how well I’m doing with that.
I can tell you my husband is a saint though. He encourages me to nap every day, has been taking care of most of the meals, all the shopping, gets me whatever food I want whenever I want it, and he’s even been nesting with me.
We have plenty of room here for a baby, but some serious cleaning out and rearranging need to happen first. As my energy allows, we’ve slowly been working on that project.
We aren’t letting ourselves look at any baby things until I’m safely through the first trimester. We had one tentative discussion about names, but I think we want to hold off on that one, too.
For once, I won’t end with promises to post regularly. I’m not promising anything until I make it through the first trimester alive.
PS. I almost didn’t include this, because I rarely get any sort of bloggy attention, and because I tend to think everything is a scam. (OK, and also because I’m not entirely convinced this isn’t some grad student’s thesis project). But if you look on that list, you’ll see little ole me at #21 of the personal relationship blogs. The compiler of the list sent me a very nice email, and I do seem to be getting some good traffic and a new reader or two from it, so how can I not thank them and try to send a few hits to the other blogs?
