One of these mornings I’m going to get to rush out of the bathroom, positive pregnancy test in hand, and wake my husband up with some long-awaited good news.
It won’t be today.
I don’t know whose bright idea it was to make the symptoms of PMS the exact same as early pregnancy, but I would like to kick them in the nuts.
I say nuts because I can only assume it was a man.
Every month I try to reason with Puppy. (That’s the part of myself that gets overly exuberant about everything.)
Puppy: Look! Our temperature is way low today! Today’s 7-10 days after ovulation. I think we’re pregnant!!!
Cathy: Or it means that we slept with the window open and we’re freezing. See the goosebumps?
Puppy: Was that a twinge? It was! That was totally an implantation cramp!
Cathy: No, I think that’s from the wine and ramen noodles we had for “dinner” last night.
Puppy: You should stop drinking wine. We’re totally pregnant.
Repeat above scene with each common early pregnancy PMS symptom: fatigue to the point of stupidity, food cravings, bitchiness, crying at the drop of a hat, nausea, and sore boobies.
That’s what I found this morning when I logged onto Fertility Friend* to enter my temp and the first day of my period (click to enlarge it). A “free VIP upgrade” that I didn’t want, for this very reason. Because it gangs up with Puppy to convince me I’m pregnant, and then I’m outnumbered. And really start to believe it.
It’s all Look at your good sex timing!** and Look – an implantation dip! and Holy crap you can take a test today!!!”
Except? Aunt Flo had already arrived bright and early this morning to piss in my Cheerios.
When I do enter my period into my chart, FF just starts the cycle over, like nothing happened. The least it could do after getting my hopes up for weeks is give me some pasta, chocolate, and wine. And some salt & vinegar potato chips.
See the thing is, I do get my hopes up. Every month. Even though common sense tells me not to.
And then I get disappointed and have a difficult day or two. Days where I try to remember that this is happening to my husband, too. I don’t know if I always do a very good job of that.
But even though it’s hard, I think I’d rather deal with the disappointment than stop getting my hopes up. That feels too much like giving up.
* For the record, I have no beef with Fertility Friend and I’m going to continue to use the free, non-VIP service as soon as they’ll let me. The fancy stuff just feeds my neuroses. Of which I clearly have several.
** Also for the record, we did it more often than that. Way more often. I’m just lazy about things that are less fun than sex. Like data entry.
Ah, Sweetness. I’m sorry FF and mother nature are working against you.
She’s a bitch – and I’m pretty sure one of her agents invented FF. 
It’ll happen soon enough… all I can say is be careful what you wish for. I begged and begged and begged Talbot for Keian for years… and haven’t slept through the night since. Don’t get me wrong – I wouldn’t trade him for the WORLD ~ but I get SO jealous when I read your updates about things like napping. And sleeping in. And going places. Ah, to be free again… 
Just remember the old saying about a watched pot never boiling – I’m not saying stop monitoring or anything by ANY means… but the more you think/stress about it, the longer it’ll feel. I know… easier said than done, right??
Love you!