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Mrs. E
Mr. & Mrs. E
Jellydog
My Give-a-Damn’s Busted
Or, alternately titled: “I’m Baaaaack!”
See, here’s what happened. The more readers I got, the more… stifled I was feeling. And the more uncomfortable I felt being myself.
It doesn’t help that my family reads. As far as I can figure every family member except my dad is reading now. And maybe he’s even reading now and the rest of the family is keeping me blissfully ignorant of this fact.
If that is the case, please continue to keep me blissfully ignorant. Please.
So, yeah. That makes all the swearing and the sexy talk sort of umm, awkward. And I really enjoy swearing and sexy talk.
It’s not only my family. As far as I can tell, most of my friends read too.
Don’t get me wrong – I don’t ever want you guys to stop reading. I appreciate the support. But when I read other blogs, and they’re all “so I have this one friend” or “I was at this party”, followed by some awesome story I get so jealous. I can’t do that without someone figuring out who it is because everyone reads!
So, in “it’s not all about me” news, apparently this is an affliction suffered by most in the blogging world and what most of you seem to do is write it anyway.
I used to do this (Parish Place, anyone?) and I’m not entirely sure how I got off track, but I suspect it has to do with letting everything in my life get out of balance the last several months. Some of my personality got buried, I think.
My friends that read know how I am. And by “how I am” I mean sarcastic and snarky. Ok, and sometimes bitchy. Like, God gifted me with this quick biting wit. Am I not supposed to use it?
Hold up. This seems like a good time for the “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it” discussion. Just so you know, my wit did not appear out of nowhere. It comes from a long line of sarcasticly quick-witted paternal relatives. Meaning I grew up eating more dishes than you can possibly imagine.
My true peeps also know that I’m not sarcastic and snarky on the inside. I’m quite kind-hearted and sensitive actually. Which is why I worry so much about what people think about me and whether or not they like me and I really do try to not hurt the feelings of those I care about.
Do you guys kinda write the post in your head first? I do, and when I got to that last sentence I finally figured it out.
Those I care about. Or alternately, those I respect, trust, want to continue having in my life. If you don’t “get” me or like what I write about or the things I tweet about, we probably shouldn’t be friends, online or IRL. AND THAT’S OK. I don’t have to be friends with everyone and not everyone has to like me.
Sometimes I forget this. Ok, I always forget it.
So, to make a short story long, I stifled myself so everyone would like me and read my blog. I think. It’s all very confusing.
Anywho. This blog is officially back to what it was before. The place where I deposit all the junk that’s in my head. Enjoy! Or you know… don’t. Whatever.
PS. My advice to you if you find yourself in my blog? Sack up!
Wait. I didn’t mean that. Please don’t leave me.
Gah. I have issues.
I deleted my first Twitter cause family and friends from high school started following and I just didn’t feel as comfortable being myself. So I completely understand!
I know what you mean! I use my blog name on twitter, but it’s pretty obvious it’s still me.
Somehow I did not see this yesterday in my blogger list. I do not write my posts in my head first mostly because no one with the exception of my mom even knows where to find my site. And I stopped writing for a while to see if she would stop reading it. She hasn’t said anything so I hope she is done reading it. I don’t write anything that I would die if she read, but you know. I’ve been keeping it clean becaue of her reading it. I am planning on changing that, but still, you know. I worry about her reading it and giving me a lecture later. As far as your blog, if they already know you are that way and like you IRL, then let it all hang out and go for it. I like to read the funny blogs. And the snarky ones. And the sarcastic ones.
Aha! That’s what happened! I wondered where you went
It is totally hard to write when you start doing a post and you are in a groove, and then all of a sudden you think of your MIL reading it. At some point, I stopped caring (sort of) and just wrote what I was truly feeling in my head. That’s the whole point of my blog – it’s me, me, me!!
I will admit that sometimes I go back and read things I’ve written and cringe a little bit, but I try not to think too much about it because I write posts when I’m happy, sad, drunk, in love, in hate, etc. And, everytime my mind is in a different place so who knows what’s coming. People are just going to have to deal.
I think you’re making the right choice!
Thanks! and yeah, I do some cringing when I look at my old posts too. But like you said – I’m being me – the good parts and the not-so-good parts! They can deal or move on and read one of the other eleventy billion blogs out there
I guess that is why I haven’t even told my family, in-laws or most of my friends that I am writing a blog, so I can be honest and not worry about offending anyone. Is it right who knows….who cares anymore…it saves my sanity sometimes and that is all that matters sometimes!
The only family member I actually told was my mom – the other ones found me on their own
But at least my in-law’s don’t read so there’s that! I say you keep it a secret as long as you can…