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Mrs. E
Mr. & Mrs. E
Jellydog
The Ex-Files
Say it’s a Sunday afternoon and you are moping around the house because BSG is over and life no longer has meaning there is nothing else worth watching so you decide to check your bloggy email because you always forget, and you find an email from your ex-husband that you haven’t heard from in 10 years wanting to argue about your use of the word “ginormous” to describe the mistake you made in marrying him in one of the over 300 blogs you’ve ever written. Should you:
A. Ignore it completely because you so totally don’t need this shit right now
B. Try to remember which blog you said that in so you can go back and re-read it to make sure you didn’t say anything else too bad before you check yourself and realize his ass is lucky “ginormous mistake” is the worst thing you’ve said about the marriage.
C. Reply to his email with a definition of ginormous and a detailed list of the personal and financial consequences you’ve experienced over the last 10 years as a result of the marriage to demonstrate that said consequences were, in fact, both simply huge and extremely large.
D. Write a blog about it because only a fool would drop sweet ass blogging material right in a blogger’s lap and expect it not to end up in a blog.
Looks like I went with D. That’s how I roll.
My guess is you actually went with B as well as D. And as for the email itself, well, A too. Because THAT’S how you roll. ; )
AND… for that matter, if you haven’t talked to him in 10 years, why is he stalking you online? Get OVER yourself!
I pretty much did all of them except for C. Too much effort and I don’t feel like playing.
I actually liked C. I would also like to add to this email (C) if you send it. I too went through financial issues in buying a damn $300 dress for you to marry his dumb ass. I think he should pay all the bridesmaids back for their dresses. Where is he emailing you and how did he find you? I could see him being a stalker. Yes, it was a ginormous mistake Brian, you dumb ass.
I made you guys buy $300 dresses? I totally suck. Like worst bride ever.
I don’t know how he found me, but my secret identity is apparently not very secret.
Hmmmm….. I’d go with E. Reply to his email with a definition of ginormous and how he obviously doesn’t understand it’s meaning, because, well… if he were a BIGGER man emotionally, he would realize that to email you ten years after the fact is just proving your point and if he were a BIGGER man physically, quite possibly, the mistake in marrying him wouldn’t have been so ginormous in the first place.
Why are first husbands so difficult? Assholes. They never really do move on, do they?
Oh, Bethany, I was so tempted to write him the longest email ever. I decided against it mostly because it’s all shit I’ve said before and if he wasn’t listening then, I have no reason to believe he will now…
And that’s what he says to me after 10 years? No, how are things, how’s your life, nice to see that you’re happy? Other exes have found me online and it’s been totally cool – I’m actually friendly with them now.
Ok, I have to comment here. What was he thinking contacting you. Come on Brian have some self respect. The night before this wedding your father offered me $5000 to take you out of town so you didn’t make this ginormous mistake. Believe me I thought about it and the money was not the motivation for entertaining the idea. In my humble opinion Ginormous is an understatement. It is good you didn’t reply to him directly. If he contacts you again send it to me. I will reply to him on your behalf. Ask Sonny about I stood up for him recently.
I know, right? He looks me up only to give me a bunch of crap. I tell you what, he’s been on step 9 for a long damn time cause I’m still waiting for my amends.
You totally should’ve taken the money
Sonny? What did Kim do? You know, I don’t mean to be rude because she’s the mother of my niece and nephew, but that bitch has had an ass kicking coming to her for quite some time.