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Mrs. E
Mr. & Mrs. E
Jellydog
What I Get For Being Impatient
My pregnancy test was negative.
Of course it was. I knew damn well I was testing too early, but I did it anyway. Even though almost everyone says not to test until your period is at least one day late. Even though the directions on the test specifically said that if implantation just occurred the test will be falsely negative. I still peed on it.
FF sure thinks I’m pregnant. I didn’t tell them about my negative result today, because I don’t need another person to say, “You tested too early, dumbass”. But it still thinks my low temp yesterday was implantation. And it got really excited at my temp today, because it was pretty high, making my chart “triphasic” which is also apparently a symptom of early pregnancy.
It’s also very excited that I’m cramping, that my boobs hurt, that I’ve had a headache for three days, that my back is killing me, that I’m having creamy cervical fluid, and that I’m constantly tired.
So now my pregnancy monitor is up to 63.
The constantly tired is getting old. I need a nap and I just got up three and a half hours ago. I have a to-do list a mile long and no energy. It’s really hard not to be cranky when you are this tired.
Anyway, I’m not terribly disappointed because I know I tested too early. So, I’m just pretending it didn’t happen. That’s what I do with things I don’t like. I just ignore them.
I can’t really say I feel pregnant, because I have no idea what that feels like. I do know that if this is PMS, it’s the worst I’ve ever had in my life. I do know that if this is fatigue from caffeine withdrawal, I’m pretty sure I can’t hang. I’m exhausted to the point of being almost dysfunctional.
But the main thing that’s making me think I’m probably not pregnant is the complete and utter lack of nausea. I realize some women don’t get this symptom at all, or don’t get it very badly. But, this is me we’re talking about here. I get nauseated and throw up if food looks at me the wrong way.
Well, that’s not entirely true. I did feel nauseated last night at bedtime, but I’m pretty sure it was because I ate three brownies. Yes, three. Who knew gluten-free brownies could be so delicious?
Craving chocolate sure sounds like PMS to me. And the exhaustion could very well be a little bit of depression.
Speaking of depression, here it is, Monday again. The day I do my weekly claim for unemployment benefits. Another week of pointlessly filling out job applications. And last Friday I had the pleasure of being informed that three positions I had applied for had been filled, and I never even got an interview. I’m more than halfway through my benefits now, and it’s not looking very good. Not to mention how bad it’s making me feel about myself. Especially now since my only job is to take care of my house and my husband and I’m too tired to even do a good job at that.
I don’t even want to talk about the search for a house because it’s even more depressing than the search for a job. I don’t even want to talk about how I’m so over this town it isn’t funny.
Blah. I’m going to eat some french fries and a brownie and take a nap.
Wow. We should start a club. Seriously. You and me. We’ll co-preside over it. And be the only members.
The “Depressed, Non-pregnant, No-good-job-having, Married-to-perfect-men-we-do-nothing-for, Horrible-city-living Wenches”. I vote that to be our name. At every meeting, we can get piss drunk, gorge on fattening food and complain about life. And stupid lying pregnancy tests that don’t work.
I’m actually kind of excited… it’ll be a nice break in the monotony.
That is the best group name EVER.
And the best group activities EVER
nausea sometimes doesn’t present itself until the 6th week. I’m pretty sure you aren’t that far along yet ….
Sarah, you bring up a good point. Can someone explain to me why they count how far along you are in such a stupid way?
Let’s just say for the sake of argument, and because I want to be, that I AM pregnant. I would have actually conceived sometime between Feb 12- 14. Which would make me like 10 or 12 days along. But they start counting from the day of the last period, when I was clearly NOT pregnant. Which would make me almost 4 weeks along.
There must be some logical reason for this, but I can’t figure it out. Hmmph.
I actually had to look this up, because I read so many infertility blogs that I’ve started to think that going by your ovulation date is ‘normal’ (as is hcg bloodwork immediately after a positive pregnancy test).
Anyway. The reason you go by your last period is because for lots of people, they don’t know when the actual date of conception/ovulation was. I mean, if you aren’t super involved/tracking your fertility process, it makes sense.
right?
Yeah, that does make sense… I’m just too involved in the “details”. I’m already reading that stuff about when the placenta starts forming and what the little embryo is doing right now.
Which I should stop doing immediately to avoid disappointment. There is a very good chance that I’m NOT pregnant…
so even though I am not trying for pregnancy all of the club requirements apply so I would like to join! I’ll bring the pizza! when is the first meeting being called to order?
Umm, well the first rule of the group is that you aren’t allowed to bring food I can’t eat, like pizza. And if I’m already depressed, you can’t eat it in front of me, either
So, if I’m not pregnant, I want sushi! and pomegranate martinis.